[Letter of 1874 May 11]

[Letter of 1874 May 11]

1874-05-11

African American women

Female friendship

Anderson, Caroline Still, 1848-1911 [recipient]

image/jp2

Correspondence

This material is made available for private study, scholarship, and research use. For access to the original letter, or high-resolution reproduction, please contact the Charles L. Blockson Afro-American Collection (blockson@temple.edu; 215-204-6632).

Temple University Libraries, Charles L. Blockson Afro-American Collection

William Still Collection

Blockson manuscripts

William Still Collection

Philadelphia, PA: Temple University Libraries

blockson@temple.edu

BMS010X0095

Philada. May 11th ,, 1874/ My Much Esteemed Friend Carrie:/ I have conflicting/ emotions within my bosom which I have fought/ for several days [one?] however has gained the victory/ and I am penning my feelings. The conflict was/ whether I should acknowledge or let rankle in my/ breast a feeling detrimental to my affection for/ you. Carrie need I tell you, for do you not know,/ that I have loved you long and well? There exists/ in the innermost[sic] recesses of my heart a strong affection/ for you and I would not think you had wronged/ me and not try to find out the truth, without/ an effort to still call you in reality one of my dear/ est friends. The world disappoints me so much that/ sometimes I wish I could be free from any such bonds/ such links binding me to others, but so it is, and it/ is whence comes my sweetest joys, few people love/ as I do Carrie-perhaps you do not, and yet if/ you do not I am disappointed in you, perhaps/ after all I have no right to expect so much from/ you and yet I have. It is time I had told you/ why this complaining. To you it may seem very foolishly/ I have felt deeply slighted having found out now/ three things that you have originated and enjoyed/ without even hinting to me their existence, although/ I am very fond of each one of the things still I/ could overlook that, but the idea of one whom I have/ loved so tenderly and placed such implicit confi/ dence in, that she could thus do without me is/ not what I expected. To say you did not think I/ could attend is nothing, even supposing I could not/ I should not have been disappointed in you. I/ never have engaged in anything without apprising/ you of it, and even this last affair although/ I knew it would be impossible for you to attend still/ even though I felt an extreme delicacy in men/ tioning such a thing at so trying a time with you/ still could not slight you. I have some valued/ friends they are but few and I do not feel like/ sparing one. Please keep these words all sacred:/ even my dear husbands from whom I scarcely/ keep anything does not know of this, he would/ chide me for he does not acknowledge slights/ neither do I generally but my heart is interested/ here. I told him of the meeting the other night/ he said it would be nice for us to join it in the/ fall I said yes, I did not mention how I felt,/ and no one knows it now but you and me./ I will not attempt to write more now, but please/ answer, as I shall be anxious to hear from you/ to know whether these years I have been laboring/ under a mistake or not. O do let us love each/ other on ‘till the end dear Carrie! The world/ is cold enough without our adding to it. Accept/ a kiss from/ Your loving friend/ Emma/ Come up soon E. 1711 North St./ Carrie/