[Letter of 1873 June 18]

[Letter of 1873 June 18]

1873-06-18

African American families

African American women

African American Christians (Disciples of Christ)

Wiley, Edward A. [recipient]

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Correspondence

This material is made available for private study, scholarship, and research use. For access to the original letter, or high-resolution reproduction, please contact the Charles L. Blockson Afro-American Collection (blockson@temple.edu; 215-204-6632).

Temple University Libraries, Charles L. Blockson Afro-American Collection

William Still Collection

Blockson manuscripts

William Still Collection

Philadelphia, PA: Temple University Libraries

blockson@temple.edu

BMS010X0075

June 18th, 1873/ My Dear Edward:/ The letter/ man has just handed in/ a letter from you as I ex-/pected and I had one already/ to go to you for which/ I was very glad. By it/ you will see that I too/ was surprised at not/ hearing from you. Can/ it be that you did not/ get Pa’s letter mailed to you/ on Friday? In it I put/ a letter for you in answer/ to the one received on Friday/ I had commenced writing/ it before yours came and/ so closed it hastily to send/ in Pops. Perhaps you/ dropped it in opening/ his letter if you got his/ or failed to take it from/ the envelope with his, sup-/pose you look again./ Then I am sure you must/ have had one before that/ during the week making/ two from me. Write/ me if I am not correct./ I am glad that you have the/ heart and physical ability/ to sit up with the sick now/ and then truly it is a blessed/ privilege to make pleasant/ the journey of such, and/ this I believe to be one of the/ Christians great duties. All/ however do not feel thus/ and so lose a great deal/ of the pleasure that as Chris-/tians they might enjoy./ There are so many pure en-/joyments that the Christian/ might experience if he would/ that I sometimes think if pro/fessors would embrace them/ they would find time and/ room for nothing else./ If I did not feel that I had/ some home duties to perform/ I tell you my whole time/ soul and body would be/ given unreservedly to the/ work - day and night I/ should be on the go - my/ days would doubtless be/ shortened but what of that [?]/ there is much work to be done/ and my soul goes out after/ it. As it is I try to do/ what I can in doors/ and/ out doors and sometimes failing/ within I get a [?] look from/ you my darling, now and/ then but I cant help that/ little as I do without I feel/ that I must make the effort./ though feeble. I dont for/ a moment think of underta-/king what I would if free/ from domestic cares. I know/ it would be folly/ but I fully believe to her who has received/ gifts it belongs to use them to/ the best of her ability and I/ feel that I possess a few and/ my being married will I trust/ help me to dispense them all/ the better provided I have/ the sympathy of my beloved./ You know I once thought/ you and I were going to/ be reformers after the manner/ of Mr. and Mrs. Long but/ great was my disappoint/ment when I found I had/ only been building air castles./ Still I do not despair for/ though your health caused/ you to change your pursuit/ you are in heart a missionary/ and the only difference between/ us on this point perhaps/ is this - you are waiting to/ be able to do the work which/ I am feebly reaching after in/ my poverty. I could not do/ this if I were not as favorably/ situated as I am at least not/ to the extent that I now strive./You think I ought not as it/ is. My daily prayer is Lord/ make me of use to Thee, for/ this only do I live and if I un-/derstand the inward monitor/ it directs me in the manner/ that I go. Sometimes I think/ I am a poor miserable crea/ture perhaps mistaking my/ calling as you suggested awhile/ ago, then I think I will prayer/ and I find answer, to me it/ seems answer, only in the in/clination to press forward in/ the work of reforms in what-/ever way [lieth?] in my power,/ striving not to slight my dear/ ones who I assume you are/ truly dear to me - I mean you/ and Willie and then the family./ What do you think will be-/ come of me with such notions./ Oh, I sometimes feel as though/ I had scarcely a friend to sympa/thize with this phase of my charac/ter devoted as I believe you to/ be to be to me and all my other/ interests, yet will I wait patiently/ for the end for it is a long/ [Cave?] that has no turn. I/ fully believe some day the way/ will open for me to engage/ more fully in the works that/ I now love but it is not yet/ time. My only fear is that/ if I am eventually to be an/ effectual writer I may grow/ rusty by the little practice[sic]/ now afforded me in the capac/ity of [child nurse?], seamstress,/ lady's maid &c, &c. Then on/ the other hand there are things/ to be done for my babe which/ I should not want another to/ do thus far I would not be re/lieved of my baby nursing but/ to stand behind the little one/ and follow him up stairs step/ by step though delightful amuse/ment both for him and me/ seems rather to belong to one/ older or young who prefers such/ duty to any other or if not pre-/fers does not feel that any/thing is being felt undone/ particularly whilst this is/ going on. How often I/ have thought I should like/ a home after the style of/ those we hear and read about/ in Florida. A two story build/ing with several rooms on a/ floor, garden room as you/ wish it &c. I think I could/ do honor to such a home./ With a trust worthy woman/ I think I could superintend/ the domestic affairs raise/ a nice little family (ahem) and/ write enough to make me feel /comfortable. Shall we ever/ have such do you think?/ Must we wait to go to Florida/ to get such? I trust not./ But really I should like to go/ to house keeping in the way/ above indicated. I think we/ had better try to get a nice/ little place on the outskirts/ of the City say in a nice part/ of West Philadelphia or Germantown./ I am tired of being so situated/ as to accomplish so little either/ for myself or anybody else./ You feel content to stay home/ I would too if I could have/ things a little more to my liking/ I am more and more convinced/ that though the road may not/ be so smooth and easy every/ married couple ought to go to/ themselves in the beginning./ Then the wife learns to be more/ independent and both husband/ and wife depend more on/ each other. Now I dont mean/ to complain of the home folks/ for a moment. Ma is very/ good to me and baby and in re/turn I feel as though I must/ do for her whereas if we were/ keeping house with a little assis/tance that would not amount/ to nearly so much perhaps as/ the time spent in trying to do the/ little I do in return I might ac/complish much more in other/ directions and the time that Ma/ gives me might be spent more/ beneficially by herself in her own/ concerns. At least in keeping/ house there is the satisfaction/ of knowing that you are trying/ to do to the best of your ability/ though you fail. But I should/ not mean fail with a fair chance./ Did I tell you I am sleeping in/ the 2nd story? I find it ever/ so much easier. I have not/ moved my furniture down because/ I do not know whether I am/ going to remain or not. / stairs./ Much love/ from all/ & especially/ Willie &/ me. Your/ devoted/ Wife,/ Carrie I thought I would do so whilst/ baby is poorly if no longer./ But I must close or I/ shall use all Pop's paper/ up at least a deal of it./ Georgie has taken baby out/ again it is another morning[xxxx?]/. I commenced this letter being the/ 19th. So no one is home but/ Robbie and me. Pop returned/ from Lincoln last evening/ but Ma Will & El come[sic] to-day./ I wish you were coming too./ hurry up do! Rob sends his/ love and wants to know what/ you are going to get him for 4th/ July I told him you would get/ him nothing; he wants to know/ how I know - what shall I say?/ Baby keeps [spry?] but cries every/ time I put a chair at any of the/ doors to keep him from going up/